DIY Air-Oil Separator - Crankcase Breather - Black Flag Avoider

So our die hard race fans may remember that one (of the many) Black Flags we received at Charlotte Motor Speedway in 2011was due to "Oil streaming down the side of your car like teary makeup down the face of a 13 year old Cure fan upon hearing Robert Smith combed his hair", as seen in this most-awesome photo:

Oops.

Anyway, that was due to having no oil collection bottle on the crankcase breather (among other things, but those were covered elsewhere... suspend your disbelief for a bit and follow me here).

So, this guy at work abandoned his nice aluminum water bottle in his old office, closed on the desk, for about 6 months. Then someone "helpful" put it in the kitchen for a few weeks, as a giveaway. It sat there for awhile, and so I finally opened it... and hooo boy that milk sure does curdle! It actually bent the bottom of the bottle out with it's botulistic-dreams of killing everyone in the office. So, I took it, washed it about 6 times, and decided to hack it to bits. I hate spoiled milk. And I hate to waste a cool spun aluminum-anything even more.

Here is how it unfolded on a quiet Sunday afternoon...

Step 1: buy a copper hose barb and matching cap (be sure to try the threads in the store, those plumbers are NUTSO with their wack-tastic thread pitches)

Step 2: Drill out the cap end to make it a nut:

Step 3: Lightly dent side of bottle to make an approximately-flat area so the hose barb seals ok, drill matching hole, duct-tape cap/nut to the end of your finger because that's the only damn way you could figure out how to thread the damn thing even after a damn pot of damn coffee, and thread it, tighten it to seal.

 Step 4: (not shown) Stuff some stainless steel pot scrubbers (make sure they don't have soap or any grunge on them, must be STAINLESS or the thicker plastic scrubbies) so the oil in the vapor has something to spray and condense onto, then fall gently undamaged-blowby-valve-seals-ly to the bottom of the bottle.

Step 5: Drill out the cap with a one-size -too-small drill and thread in another hose barb, then attach a crankcase breather filter to it. Ta da!

Step 6: Install newly-minted Air-Oil Separator/Crankcase Breather/Black Flag Avoider into rockum-sockum MGB-GT race car and Bobs Your Uncle you are ready for LeMons NJMP 2012! (pay no attention to those zip-ties pulling the bottle holder flanges together, those will be replaced with a metal spring once I make it to Pep Boys auto later this week... honest!)